Can we get our miracle? (Joyce)

 First, an enormous thank you to those who have been praying for our family and specifically for my headaches. After nearly a week, I am happy to report that I have experienced zero headaches. And this has occurred without any medication changes or dose adjustments to the selpercatinib. Side note: I had a huge chuckle when a dear neighbor informed me that with the difficulty the spelling, she calls it “Super Cat Nip.” As a cat lady, I love that!

David and I have thought a lot about miracles lately.  We’ve talked about whether some code to crack exists so we can “get” our miracle to cure my cancer. I’ve prayed for miracles for myself and for others from time to time. Sometimes the request is granted, a lot of the time it isn’t.  The more I learn about what God has to say about miracles, the more I appreciate that there isn’t anything we can do, say or pray to reliably be granted a miracle. God did not spare Stephen nor James from martyrdom (Acts 7:54-60 and Acts 12:2). However, God chose to send an angel to Peter and miraculously bust him out of prison, despite being watched by 4 squadrons and chained between 2 soldiers (Acts 12:3-11). That was most certainly a miracle. All three of these people were devoted followers of Jesus who were pivotal in growing the early church after Jesus’ death and resurrection. I image countless people were praying for each of them. Why the inconsistency? Did Peter know this code?

I recently listened to a sermon that brought these passages home for me. Paster Andy Stanley highlights that miracles are given at God’s discretion to achieve God’s purposes. We can’t always know what God’s purposes are. This is true in my life. I rarely feel like I confidently know what God’s purposes are, especially in the moment. But I do know He longs to have a personal relationship with me. Whether he grants my desired miracle, answers a seemingly tiny prayer that doesn’t require a miracle, or He doesn’t, God wants me to trust and follow Him and remain faithful anyway. As Stanley puts it, “Faith is anchored on the reality that God has already done something on my behalf and on behalf of the whole world… The process of praying for miracles is faith-building when we engage with our Heavenly Father.” Indeed, Jesus models this so succinctly when he prays “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) While God the Father did not spare Jesus from being brutally crucified and taking on the sins of the all of the world, we read that 3 days later Jesus was resurrected. The rest, my friends, is history.

While I can name a few inspiring people who got their miracle (Praise God for those people and for miracles!), there are many I can also think of who didn’t get their miracle but chose to follow Jesus anyway. These people often inspire so much more. While I will continue to pray that God grant us my desired miracle, I trust that, either way, God’s got this. He has way better plans than I can image in this life and the next.

Sometimes I need the reminder that God has already answered prayers in big ways. My mysterious headaches have disappeared. The scans show rapid response to treatment. I certainly feel better than 8 weeks ago. I have been told by several people that I look better, more myself. There have been so many helping hands, with kind words and prayers along the way. While I still have strides to make in recovery, these are blessings I can count.

I needed this reminder especially this week when I sent David and the kids off to enjoy their first day of the ski season. I have been really bummed out that skiing, at least for the near future, won't be happening for me due to the bone fracture risk. Yep, this is the kind of unique privilege that my extremely charmed life has given previously, and the kind of thing that bums me out when it's taken away. I am grateful to be in a place where I feel well enough to want to ski.

This coming week, some family members are taking a last-minute trip to Idaho to spend time with us. For many of them, this is their first time visiting! I pray for meaningful connections during our time together, and the same to any of you reading this post over the holiday season. I also pray that I can slowly wean from one of the medications used for back pain caused by the spinal metastases over the next month. You can join me in those specific prayers!

Big hugs,

Joyce